


Imperfect

by FiveStillAlive



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Muzzle, Navel torture (briefly), Rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-13 23:45:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13581477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiveStillAlive/pseuds/FiveStillAlive
Summary: "I didn't!  Thor, you're not yourself, you're enspelled, stop!"  He cast his mind out urgently, seeking another, anyone, who he could set an illusion on to raise alarm of Thor's madness.  It was so late.  He let his struggles still, though he remained tense and resistant.  There was no point trying to fight Thor like this.  He tried to calm him.  "Please!  Brother, please, you would never hurt me!"





	1. Chapter 1

Thor was not perfect.

Loki would be the first to say it. The very first. He would say it much, much earlier than others.

But cruelty was not one of his traits.

Loki had barely even been teasing the other warrior. Donheim had been telling a wildly exaggerated story of adventure, and Loki had been keeping up a running commentary of holes in his story. Donheim claimed to have fought a dozen riff serpents, and Loki pointed out they never formed nests of more than four. Donheim told of Riff's terrible heat, and Loki mentioned the land's mild summers. Donheim had been surrounded by fierce native warriors. The natives of Riff were barely tool users. Everyone had been laughing, and Donheim had been inspired to greater and greater extravagances in his telling. They'd had quite the double act.

Thor had snapped at Loki to stop being so insufferable. Loudly.

Everyone at the table had gone quiet. It was so utterly unlike him, Loki hadn't even thought to strike back. He had only looked at his brother, awaiting some kind of follow up, then asked if he was feeling well. Thor had said he was fine, it was simply that Loki was irritating everyone. Valkyrie, millennia Thor's elder and unimpressed by the young king, had told Thor to get himself under control, or she would do it for him. Thor had stormed out.

There had been a few moments of terrible silence.

"I will find out what's wrong." Loki said finally, and rose from the table.

Lady Sif had risen faster, and pushed him back down. "Better I do it." she said, almost gently. Her usual suspicion of Loki seemed to be on hold for this terrible humiliation.

The mood of the table never returned. Everyone spoke tensely, wondering what could have caused such an outburst. Loki left after a few minutes, hating the sick feeling burning in him.

He paused outside Thor's door. It was cracked, and he could see Sif in there with him. Their words were low, but they appeared to be deep in heartfelt conversation. Loki stepped back quietly, and snuck into his own room. Then, in a fit of rage, he slammed his own door.

He immediately felt foolish. That had been childish in every way.

He undressed and climbed into his own bed, the furniture barely familiar. He almost always slept in Thor's bed while he was in Asgard.

He didn't sleep.

Thor came, over an hour later, opening the door very softly, and turning on a dim light. Loki let the stiffness of his shoulders tell his brother he was wide awake, and had no intention of turning to him.

He had been assuming Thor was under a spell, or similarly not responsible for his outburst. He'd been wondering how long he should give Sif to sort it out on her own - since Loki seemed to be at the disruption's focus, he might only make things worse. But if Sif was done with him this quickly, there had been no spell. Lady Sif would not have left Thor until she was certain her dear friend was himself again, and a spell would have taken longer than that to reverse completely.

So if Thor was here, it was because he had been himself when he had yelled at Loki. Loki did not like that at all.

He really didn't. He sat up and turned to face Thor, prepared to cut down any apology.

Thor grabbed him by the throat and pinned him back down to the bed.

Loki twisted under him, and for an instant nearly broke free. But that just made Thor climb on top of him. Loki cast an illusion of Thor's hand bursting into flames, spikes shooting from his throat, vipers twining around Thor. His illusions were not tricks of the light; they reached into the very mind. Disbelieving them was not simply a matter of ignoring the evidence of your eyes. It took someone very strong-willed to ignore them. Loki could often trick Thor, when he showed him what he expected, or something he had no cause to be suspicious of, or even took him by surprise. But when Thor was set against him, he had all the will expected of a thunder god.

Thor struck Loki in the ribs, the stomach. Desperately, Loki tried lashing out with direct compulsions, mentally screaming at Thor to get away. He didn't expect that to work. Compulsions on Thor could get him his way during sex, perhaps, but little else. He tried other mental attacks, tearing open times of grief or despair in Thor's mind, trying to fog him into a stupor. The magic of it shot up Thor's arm, but had no effect. Not when Thor was this insanely determined.

The strangling pressure on his throat was becoming an urgent concern. Loki telekinetically jerked the whole bed across the room, smashing into the far wall. That at least unbalanced Thor enough to release his throat, and Loki gasped air and twisted for the knife under his pillow. Thor knocked it out of his hand, and hit him hard across the face.

Loki cried out in surprise and shifted his appearance to a fierce frost bear, then a disgusting insect, then a frightened child. Each illusion lasted only a moment before being thrown away by Thor's mind.

"Stop!" he shouted, simply fighting, thrashing, clawing to escape his brother's hold. "Brother, stop! What are you doing?"

"Trickster! Snake! You would try to poison my own warriors against me?"

"I didn't! Thor, you're not yourself, you're enspelled, stop!" He cast his mind out urgently, seeking another, anyone, who he could set an illusion on to raise alarm of Thor's madness. It was so late. He let his struggles still, though he remained tense and resistant. There was no point trying to fight Thor like this. He tried to calm him. "Please! Brother, please, you would never hurt me!"

"I'd hoped you might accept your punishment with a little dignity, like an Asgardian. But you aren't Asgardian, are you, Trickster?" Thor pulled out something Loki hadn't noticed him carrying.

It was the muzzle.

Loki cried out in horror, and tried to scramble free in sheer panic. "No! No, please, don't put that on me! Please, I'll behave!"

That THING. It had been designed and built for him, for his punishment, and Thor had dragged him back to Asgard in it after what he had done to Midgard, and Odin had kept him in it while his prison was constructed. It was a thing of nightmares. He had many times woken scrambling at his mouth, terrified he was in it again. Thor had comforted him after such nightmares, knew his terror of it. It blocked his voice and his magic. Made him helpless. In his mind, it was linked to everything terrible from that time, who he had been in that time. Then, he had born it stoically, because he had deserved it. Part of him had known he deserved it. He did not, now. He did not, he did not deserve that nightmare thing, and the thought of being forced into it again had him sobbing his surrender.

"Please, no! Thor, please don't, please!" He strained his face away, trying to avoid it, frantic. "Please! Please, I'm sorry, I'll be good, I'll be good, I'll do anything, please don't put it on me!" His mind grasped desperately for distant, sleeping minds. He might have left unease in some, but none woke. "Don't, brother, please! I love you! You know that I love you!"

It was forced onto him, and he began to sob. The fight went out of him. No. No. He couldn't be back here. It could not be that Thor had once again sent him to this hell.

It was not like when he sometimes lost his power from overuse. That was an exhaustion, deep inside. His powers were there now, but blocked. It was the difference between being too tired to move, and being tied painfully into an unnatural position, from which you couldn't move an inch.

He cried, unashamed, shaking his head in silent pleas for release.

"No, you're not an Asgardian. No Asgardian would be as cowardly and sneaky and dishonest as you." He licked Loki's ear, making him tremble and cringe away. "I really only keep you because you're such an exotic plaything." He ran a hand to Loki's belly and pushed down on Loki's navel, with the sort of force that would usually delight him. Now he just cringed around his twitches, whimpering in fear, even those sounds not escaping the muzzle.

Thor flicked Loki's limp cock. "Really, frost giant? You're going to pretend you don't just love that?"

Loki twisted his head away, not wanting to see his brother like this. He was not a frost giant! He was not Asgardian, but he was not that either. He was not.

"Doesn't matter. I tried to be nice, and you wouldn't accept it. Like usual. I'll give you yet another of your endless chances, Laufeyson." He grabbed Loki's hair and jerked it, making him look at Thor. He wiped away Loki's tears, in a mockery of tenderness. He wanted Loki to see him. "Do you want to be raped like this, or from behind?"

No! Loki shook his head frantically. No! Thor was dressed, completely dressed, and it was Thor, so that horror had not even occurred to him. It was Thor. Thor! Surely no spell could make him do that to Loki!

But it could. He could see in his eyes. He made the quick decision not to fight. Thor would only hurt him more if he did, and in this state he might even be inclined to reward cooperativeness with a bit of mercy. He stayed still, resisting the urge to try to escape while Thor undressed.

He had never been raped. Living on Asgard, he'd grown up the misfit among aggressive boys, and in his travels he sought and attracted trouble, but he had never been raped. He had played submissive to rough men on many worlds, but he had never been raped. He had known it might happen eventually, the way he lived, but that didn't make the immediate prospect any less terrifying.

And from Thor. While in this nightmare muzzle. Was he in hell?

He reached a trembling hand to caress Thor's hip, trying to beg for gentleness. Thor smacked his hand away, then punched him in the stomach for good measure. Loki whimpered, and tried not to cry again.

Thor repositioned them, pulling Loki's legs over his shoulders. "This way, I think. I want to see your face. Well." He laughed and traced a finger along the edge of the muzzle. "Your eyes, at least."

Loki laid a hand over Thor's heart, looked at him imploringly, and pointed to the bedside table.

Thor looked at him curiously.

Loki drew Thor's hand to his muzzled mouth, as if to kiss it, made a pleading gesture, and pointed to the table.

"Oh, your oil." Thor said it with gentle affection. "No. This is about teaching you your place, Laufeyson. You are a prisoner of war. My father kept you very comfortable, and you've been nothing but ungrateful. I won't be doing the same anymore."

Loki shook his head, and tried to gesture again, but then Thor was pushing into him.

It hurt, badly. He hadn't expected that. They fucked quite regularly, after all. But then he was prepared and relaxed and willing.

Pitifully, he put his hands on Thor's arms, and kept his eyes on him. What was wrong with Thor? What spell could have done this? He put his hand to Thor's temple, first trying to feel the magic corrupting his mind, which he couldn't do through the muzzle, then just caressing him. He pushed Thor's hair back, trying to see his brother in that eye.

When Thor was done, he laughed at Loki's tears. "I think I will have you from behind after all. Get up, Prisoner. Show me how well behaved you can be."

Loki did, shaking badly. Thor fingered him lazily. "Look at you. So easily conquered. Who knew."

Loki didn't shake his head, too fearful, but Thor was wrong. Loki had always known when to placate. He was not one for deadly stubbornness. This was hardly his first surrender.

Thor fucked him again. It still hurt. Loki cried through it, unable to even touch or look at his brother. He finally, finally finished, and pulled Loki down back onto his back. He couldn't intend another round, could he?

Loki cautiously touched his brother, gestured a plea, then a vow, then touched the muzzle. He gestured his surrender, trying to be as emphatic as possible, and pleadingly put Thor's hand to the muzzle. Thor slapped him instead.

Then he started abusing Loki's navel. He knew Loki's embarrassing, shameful little kink. Knew Loki could be helplessly aroused by pressure there, and that he had shared this vulnerable secret with no other lover, no one but Thor. He pushed harder than Loki ever did, until Loki was screaming into the nightmare muzzle, and writhing in pain, and sobbing again.

After some time, Thor hissed "If I even think you're going to do magic without my permission, I'll put it back on."

Loki nodded understanding, trembling with hope. Thor took the muzzle off.

"Thank you." he whispered.

"Did I hurt you?" He stoked Loki's hair, gently.

Loki nodded.

"Good. You'll behave better now, won't you?"

"Yes. Please, please don't put it back on me."

"I will if you misbehave. Or if I feel like it."

Loki shuddered. "But I can do such good things with my mouth, br- my king. Do you prefer to hear my pleasure or my pain when you have me? And of course, there are other ways to... occupy my mouth."

Thor snorted. "I wondered if you'd enjoy this a bit too much! This is a fantasy come to life for you, isn't it?"

Nearly. Except that his fantasies had never included the muzzle, and were always play. This was horrifyingly real. And something terrible was wrong with Thor.

Thor stayed the night. He did cruel things. He made Loki hurt and scream and beg, and debase himself, crawling and pleading. He finally left in the very early morning.

Loki rose, cleaned himself, and dressed. He needed help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a Tumblr! <https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive>


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: More rape.

When Loki had impersonated Odin, it had not been terribly difficult. He was a loved king, but quite old. At that age, most of those truly closest to him had passed. The exception was Tarein.

Tarein was old. He and Odin had been lifelong friends. At first Loki had worried about being able to trick him, but soon Loki had found him enjoyable company and wise counsel. His talks with Tarein had done much to get him over the horrors of the past years, and make him so willing to rebond and cooperate with Thor.

He had often suspected that Tarein knew who he was. But, with the wisdom of his many, many years, Tarein seemed to have decided that controlling the future was not his job anymore, and had sought only to make Loki a better ruler, for as long as he was. A better man.

When Odin had passed, Loki had not grieved. Even for Thor, he had felt only a distant sympathy; there was too much history there. But he had felt guilt for robbing Tarein of the last few years of his friend's life, and a chance to say goodbye to him.

He had avoided Tarein since. He was one of Thor's councillors now, and Loki had been too ashamed to even look him in the eye.

But he dressed now, and slipped through the quiet, early-morning halls, and went to his room.

Squirming with guilt and shame, he knocked. He didn't bother disguising the bruises on his face, or the way he was holding his ribs.

Tarein opened his door, and looked only mildly surprised.

"There's something wrong with Thor."

\------------

He was sitting at Tarein's little table. There was tea. It was a confusing mix of comfortable and awkward, and Loki was very tired.

"You weren't a bad king, you know." Tarein brought over cookies. He was such a mild man. Safe.

"You were a very wise guide." Loki admitted, softly. "You knew?"

"Oh, yes."

Loki's head dropped. "I am so sorry I took your friend from you, and never brought him back." That was all he could say. He wasn't sorry he'd done it, or that Odin had died.

"At my age, all the goodbyes are implied, boy. Now. What's wrong with your brother?"

Loki tried to stay steady. "He has gone mad. He came to me last night, and...." He shook his head. "We play rough sometimes. This was not that. He hurt me, over and over, and enjoyed it. Thor would never behave like that. He is under a spell."

"I see. And you could not defeat it?"

Loki wrapped his arms around himself. "I was not able to try. He... muzzled me."

Tarein made a noise of distaste.

Yes, after the fact it seemed that everyone had disapproved of Odin leaving him in that thing for so long. Asgardians, a people of action, had disapproved of the cruelty... and done nothing. Loki was an outsider, and didn't really count.

"This is disturbing news. I will gather the council."

\-------------

Loki wasn't sure what happened in between. Loki had gone back to his room to wait. Then Thor had been dragging him to the dungeon. His cell, specially reinforced to contain his magic, had been rebuilt on this new Asgard, it seemed. He wondered when. Just now, in Thor's madness? Or had the council, ever suspicious of him, demanded it be made much earlier, just in case?

The one mercy was that, though Thor had muzzled him upon capture, he had taken it off again when he imprisoned Loki.

Loki had yelled at him, telling him again that he was enspelled, that he must fight it, that he was stronger than this.

Thor left.

For days, Loki was left alone.

Thor came back. Thor raped him more. Tormented him. Left.

Alone. More days.

Thor. More rape.

Thor didn't use the muzzle that time. Loki tried to feel the spell. There. It was deep and hard and sharply defined. It turned Thor violent against those dearest and most vulnerable to him. Loki tried to dislodge it. It dug spikes into Thor's mind.

Alone again. More days.

Sif.

"Sif!" Loki had never been so pleased to see her. He jumped to his feet. "Sif, what is going on?"

Sif looked at him suspiciously.

Loki rolled his eyes. "You thought you would find Thor down here in my place. Thor is not being impersonated, he is enspelled. You must have noticed his strange behavior!" At first, it would have been focused mostly on Loki, he thought. But when he'd antagonized it trying to dislodge it, it had gotten worse. "I do not know how. I think if the spell had been deliberately cast on him, we would have seen other action by now, so I suspect some natural mishap."

Sif finally spoke. "He tells us you enspelled him. You wanted him to seem cruel, to undermine him in the hearts of his people. He overcame your foul spell, and finally accepted that you are too dangerous to be free."

"But you have seen him since then. You know he is not himself."

"Perhaps he is merely upset over his brother's betrayal."

"You would not be here if you thought so."

Sif walked out.

Alone. Days.

Thor. Rape.

The prison kept his powers contained, but allowed him room to stretch within its walls. Loki began trying on different forms. Odin, Thor, himself as a young child. He kept that one for a few days. It matched his helplessness.

When Thor came, he pleaded with his big brother. Thor overcame the illusion, furious. Loki turned to their mother, and told Thor she was ashamed of him. Thor muzzled him and beat him badly before raping him. He left the muzzle on.

After two days like that, Loki was ready to swear to never use his powers again, if only he would take that thing off. It was two weeks before Thor visited again. He didn't take it off.

The thing was not merely a muzzle. It was a punishment device. It got worse over time. His body slowed under its horrifying power. It fogged his mind, but suppressed sleep.

Loki spent most of his time in a horrified daze on his cot, staring at the wall and trying to be unconscious. Maybe he imagined it all. He had taken a ship to rescue Asgard, and set off Ragnarok? Ridiculous. He had attacked Midgard, and had been left to rot in Odin's prison.

He was dragged out of his fog by two voices.

Tarein and Sif.

"I don't care. I know he's been acting strange, but that hardly means Loki is innocent."

"Look at him, Sif. He is muzzled."

"Inside his prison? Why?"

"Cruelty. You know Thor would not do that." Soft footsteps. "Loki. The council is coming to believe your story. We will find a way to free Thor's mind. Hold on only a little longer."

Alone. Days.

Thor. A particularly angry rape. He accused Loki of turning his warriors against him even now.

Alone.

Thor. Gentle hands, pleading voice, grief. Easier to breath, with the muzzle off. Strength returning to him, with the muzzle off. His mind woke. Thor. He cried out, and fought, and lashed out almost blindly with his magic. Thor let him go. He scrambled away from him, then burst into tears, apologized desperately, begged Thor not to put that thing on him again, anything but that.

"Loki, no. Brother. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I am myself again, I will not hurt you."

Loki stared at him, mind taking a while to reengage.

"I was enspelled, as you said. I am so sorry, Loki."

Thor. Himself again. Loki should have been delighted. He had imagined this enough times. He would forgive Thor at once, of course; it wasn't his fault. He would embrace his beloved brother, tiredly, and let Thor fuss over him and take care of him. Depending on the spell, and how they had defeated it, Thor might need care as well. They would take care of each other.

He did forgive Thor at once. He could see his brother's guilt, paining him, and he wanted to sooth it, to reassure Thor that it was not his fault. But the thought of going near him, being touched by him, horrified Loki.

"It wasn't your fault." Loki tried to sound calm. "I know that. I knew the whole time. I am not mad at you. I love you." He so rarely said the words genuinely, among a people who were free with them.

"Thank you." Thor gave him a hesitant smile. "Let's get you back to... well, one of our rooms." He reached for Loki, to help him up.

Loki cringed away. "I am... frightened of you." he admitted. There was no point hiding it. Fear was a reality to be dealt with, not denied. He slowly got up. He hurt. At least out of this cell and that THING, he would heal quickly.

"I'm sorry." Thor drew back from him.

Loki stumbled out of the cell, and cast an illusion to disguise how badly he was moving, and gestured Thor to walk with him. Thor did, keeping a safe distance between them.

"I will stay. I know you would not trust me to leave right now." Not entirely unfair.

Thor sighed relief, and nodded agreement. "Thank you."

"But tell everyone I am away. Whatever story you like. I will conceal myself. I... do not want visitors." He did not want their useless concern.

"I will. But brother... do not be mad at them. Until the end, I was acting almost completely normal except around you."

No one had questioned Loki as Odin, no one had caught Thor's enspellment for weeks. Months? Asgardians were so bold, until they hit a king. Loki nodded, accepting Thor's words.

"I.... Come to me tonight." He didn't bother asking. Thor would be his to command right now.

"I will." They reached their rooms, and Loki opened his own door. "Do you need anything?"

Loki shook his head. "Sleep." His healing had been badly slowed. He could feel far too many injuries now kicking into gear. He wanted to be unconscious through it, and wake in his own bed, clean and healed. He left Thor without another word, took a much-needed shower, crawled into bed, and passed out.

\--------------

Thor came to him. He stopped just inside the door. This situation was new, but they were over a thousand years old. They both understood trauma. Loki needed control. Sometimes, Loki would be angry.

Loki was angry now. He kept it under control. "Where is it?"

"What?"

"Where. Is. It?"

Thor's shoulders slumped. "Still in the cell."

Well. "Lay down." He waited. "Stay." He left to get it.

It was there. Laying on that little cot where he had been violated over and over, and left to rot. He didn't go in, instead using his powers to call the thing out. He returned to his room, and went to the edge of the bed. "Come here."

He saw Thor look doubtfully at the muzzle. "Is this really necessary?"

"Let me put it on you."

"I won't hurt-"

"Let me put it on you. Or leave. If you leave, it will be a very long time before I can share your bed again." This was not punishment. It was simply what Loki needed to process what had happened, and trust Thor again.

Thor set his mouth grimly, and slid to the edge of the bed.

Loki muzzled him. It looked terribly wrong on his golden brother. Had a faint glow in his skin dimmed? Thor squirmed uncomfortably, and cast him an uncertain look.

"Yes, it's very unpleasant. All that power, you barely think about it rushing through your body like blood and air. Then it stops, hard and frozen in place. It gets worse." Loki stepped back, and took his chair, facing Thor on the bed. "Of course, you won't develop the horror of it I did. You would have to spend days or weeks in it. Did Odin explain to you what that thing does over time?"

Thor shook his head.

"No. He wouldn't. Not his clean, golden son." He sat forward in his chair. "Don't worry. You will not experience that. I will take it off in the morning."

Thor bowed his head.

Loki relented. "I'm sorry. I know it's not your fault. If you truly can't stand it, I will take it off."

Thor shook his head, and stretched on the bed on his side, facing Loki.

"Thank you." Loki looked down, away from his lovely brother muzzled. "I didn't realize how powerful you've become. We used to be more evenly matched. I was certain that, if needed, I could at least escape you. But I was barely able to fight. You did not need a clever plan, or tools. You had me beaten quickly, before you even used the muzzle. My magic simply bounces off you, when you're determined." He leaned back in his chair again. "You could probably escape that if you wanted, couldn't you?"

Thor looked thoughtful. Sparks of lightning danced along the edge of the muzzle. He nodded and shrugged.

Loki sighed. "God of Thunder." He would have to be sneakier. He would have to plan better. A knife under his pillow? He should have had a circle under the bed and hellhounds in every wall. He was a schemer, and had failed to plan his own defense on Asgard. Unacceptable.

He shook the thought away. A project for tomorrow.

He watched his brother, trying to imagine getting into bed with him. "You called me ice giant, and Laufeyson, and prisoner. Do you think of me so?"

Thor shook his head firmly, curling his fingers over his heart to indicate his honesty.

Loki stood, and approached his brother cautiously. "Other side of the bed." he ordered, pointing.

Thor scooted backward. Loki stopped him when he passed the half way mark. It was a big bed, he did not want him too far.

He climbed into bed, and stopped outside of arms reach. Then he took a deep breath, and crept closer. He could not take seeing that thing on his brother any more. He had hoped it would make him feel safe. It made him sick. "I'm sorry. I should not have used this." He released his brother, getting only a sigh of relief.

"It's okay." Thor said, voice so sure. "Do whatever you need."

Loki shuddered. "I need upsetting things."

"What things, brother?"

Loki looked down at muzzle in his hands, and shuddered. He ran his fingers over it, memorizing every line and bump. Odin had had this built for him. No, he did not mourn the man.

"I should have argued more, that first time. I should have insisted." Thor sounded so regretful. Questioning his past choices was such a rare thing for him. "It was obvious that Odin was prolonging construction of the cell to torment you. I could see that thing was doing more than simply holding you. I was so mad at you."

Loki held the thing. He lifted it up. He imagined putting it on himself. He put the mouthpiece over his mouth, and drew it away, shuddering. He did it again.

Thor brushed a soothing hand against his knee.

Oh. Thor was right there, watching him go mad. Loki twitched and cast an illusion over Thor's eye, blinding him completely. Thor gasped, but then just settled into a more comfortable position.

Well, at least his magic still worked on him when he wasn't so determined.

Loki approached Thor cautiously. He put the mouthpiece over Thor's mouth, and even smoothed the locking arms over his jaw. He didn't close it, though Thor twisted his head so that Loki could. Loki drew it away.

He returned Thor's sight, except of himself.

"Loki?"

Loki put it to his own mouth again, and put the arms back. He held it, almost closed. It didn't do anything until it was locked. He held it until his breathing was, if not normal, under control. He drew it away.

Now for the trust game.

He revealed himself, and crawled carefully to Thor, kneeling by his side. Thor said something. Loki took his hands, put the thing in them, and drew them to his face. He guided Thor's hands in putting it on him, not locked. Then he pulled Thor's hands away, guiding him in taking it off. He shuddered, and took a deep breath.

"I won't ever put it on you again." Thor promised, voice soft and reassuring. Thor was never the brightest.

Loki pulled his hands back again, guiding him to put it in place. Then he nudged Thor's fingers, telling him to lock it.

"Loki...."

He tapped his fingers again, more urgently.

Frowning, Thor complied.

Loki held Thor's hands in a death grip in front of his chest, and held Thor's eye just as desperately.

One breath.

Two.

Three.

He jerked Thor's hands to the muzzle, whining now, desperate, needing it removed. Thor released him at once, and pulled it away.

Loki panted, terrified. He pulled Thor's hands back, and made him do it again.

One.

Two.

Three.

Get it off, get it off!

He moaned when Thor tore it away, and curled into himself. Thor was speaking, but Loki couldn't understand. He sat back up, shaking, and drew Thor's hands up once again.

One.

Two.

Three.

He jerked Thor's hands up, and Thor released him. He tried to contain his noises of fear.

He was so frightened it was hard to speak. He couldn't understand Thor's words, but he forced his own out, making himself let go of Thor's hands.

"Do it."

Thor didn't argue.

He stared at Thor. His heart was pounding. Hell. He was trapped in hell. His brother would save him.

One.

Two.

Th-

Thor took it off.

Loki gasped. He felt giddy. Dizzy.

This would be a new toy for them, he decided suddenly. Only for Thor. Only ever for Thor. The horror of the thing would never fade, so the ecstasy of release never would either. The trust of it was greater than any bindings, and Thor would not deny him!

"Do it, do it." he panted.

Thor was frowning. Loki could notice now. But he did it.

Loki froze in terror. No. This was a mistake! His eyes flew to Thor's, hypnotized with fear. Please please please-

Thor took it off.

Loki shuddered and slumped forward, into Thor's chest.

Thor stroked his back, making soft noises.

"Loki, Loki, brother, shhh. No more of this."

Loki sat back up. "Do it again."

Thor did. Loki stared at him, not daring to blink and be back in that cell. Thor raised his arm to release him, and Loki held up a hand to wait. The panic subsided. Yes. This was... sustainable, for a short period. It took hours for the really unpleasant effects to kick in, and they wouldn't be doing this nearly that long. Trembling, he pulled Thor's hand to the muzzle, and shuddered relief when Thor freed him.

He took off his clothes. Thor said something, but Loki needed this, and Thor would help him. He tugged at the hem of Thor's shirt. Thor rumbled something, but undressed as well.

Barely able to breathe with fear, Loki picked up the thing and put it in Thor's hands. "Do it."

Murmuring soothingly, Thor put it on him again.

This time Loki couldn't look at him. This. He was this. Thor's captive in a muzzle, Thor's plaything. Ashamed, he crawled to the edge of the bed, retrieved the oil from the table, crawled back, and gave it to him. He couldn't look up.

"Brother...."

Loki took Thor's hand and put it on him. Please. Please. He needed Thor to do this. He had to understand, he had to do it right, he had to!

Slowly, slowly, Thor began touching him. He was gentle, so gentle, perfect. He used mouth and hands and soothed every part of Loki's body, worshipping him. He put Loki gently on his back, and Loki's head tipped back in pleasure at Thor's warm mouth on his cock. He stared at the ceiling in a daze, overwhelmed and emptied by terror and now refilled with his brother's love, just as dazedly overwhelming.

Then Thor put the oil to use, and Loki began to whine uselessly into the nightmare still on him. He felt numb and distant from the pleasure wracking his body.

Then Thor was in him. His eyes flew to him for the first time and locked on, terrified, unable to put everything together. Thor was stroking his face, murmuring sweet, reassuring things, saying love love love. Loki wrapped his limbs around his brother and clung to him, desperate.

"Yes. I'm yours. Loki, brother, I am yours. Utterly."

He twined his fingers in Thor's golden hair.

"It doesn't matter how powerful I get. You are completely helpless to me now, and I will do only what pleases you. I am yours."

Yes, yes, yes. This, this was precisely what he needed.

Thor never looked away from his gaze, and with each promise of love, Loki's heart sped, until he came, gasping for air through his prison.

Thor moaned softly and, as if he'd been finally given permission, came as well.

Oh, oh, the lovely tingle of orgasm sparked against Loki's mindless terror of the muzzle. He drew Thor's hand to it, knowing he would be released.

Thor took it off, and a shock of pleasure ran through him, augmenting by the afterglow. He drew Thor into a hungry kiss.

When released, Thor threw the muzzle over the side of the bed, and Loki laughed giddily.

"Are you... okay?"

"Yes, I think I am!" Loki said, drunk with the rush of it all. "Yes, brother, thank you!"

Thor looked at him like he was crazy, but cuddled into him. "I'm going to destroy that thing."

"No. Keep it in your bedside drawer." Thor kept the oil there, and usually some pretty little toy like a feather, to tease Loki with when he thought he could get away with it. Loki had never been able to convince him of the utility of other toys.

"Brother, please, you won't want to use it again!"

"It's magnificent. Utterly terrifying."

Thor growled and kissed him again. "I promise we can try any bondage games you like, only let me destroy that thing."

"No, it's perfect. I will know always that I am safe with you, because it will be right there and you won't use it. Except when I tell you to." He drew Thor into a kiss that used his whole body, offering, seducing. "You won't ever, ever use it against me, brother?"

"No. I will never."

"Even if I do something very evil?"

"I will find another way to bring you home!"

"Swear to me."

"I swear I will never use the muzzle against you."

Loki purred, and cuddled into him, and soon slept.

\-------------  
\-------------  
Epilogue  
\-------------  
\-------------

So now Loki liked to recreate his rape.

Fortunately for Thor's sanity, he only wanted it occasionally, and only wanted Thor to be exceptionally gentle when he did it. Thor couldn't deny him. Loki didn't wake crying. Thor woke to find him staring at the wall.

They'd found a cursed sword, an ancient thing recovered from an ancient battle, and brought to Asgard with over a dozen other treasures. By chance, Thor had picked it up, and tested its swing. That was all it had taken, for the spell to sink into his mind.

Objectively, they'd both done worse to each other. But nothing had ever been so personal and intimate. Loki had forgiven him, truly. The spiteful, poison-tongued trickster had never once barbed him with it, or tried to use it against him, or even withheld his affection from Thor. He only needed Thor to sometimes put him in that monstrous thing and treat him very gently. And Thor only hated that because he could see the horror of it in Loki's eyes.

For everyone else, it was quickly forgotten. He had been mad for a few weeks; these things happened. Valkyrie was the only one who seemed not to have entirely brushed it away. She no longer quite fit on Asgard, after so long on Sakaar, and she and Loki had settled into a friendship. As Thor well knew. He had sent her on a quest the very day he had imprisoned Loki, knowing she would question him. She hadn't even known what he'd done yet, but still he saw that she hated herself for allowing it to happen. He had seen Loki speaking to her alone, had seen her offering him her wisdom, and was very glad they were friends.

Everyone had forgiven him.

He would never forgive himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a Tumblr! <https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive>


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